It is easy to lose sight of God even though you’re standing right by Him.
You can lose sight of the spiritual and go unaware that you lost your sight because you can “now” see.
Two weeks ago I began studying the beginning of creation, the story of Adam, Eve, and the fall, hoping to find myself back in the garden.
I was feeling ashamed, unworthy, unloved.
I felt like Peter, ready to go FULL into service for God.
“Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”
But he said to Him, “Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death.”
Lord, I am ready to with You, both to prison and to death.
You know, I heard his voice call me. I followed.
I felt great peace as I stepped out in faith but something else warned me of the battles ahead.
Two months and most powerfully the last two 2 weeks of the end of that two months-never have I been under heavy warfare.
What the warfare did was take my eyesight of Him.
Tempted me like Jesus in the wilderness; lust for the flesh, the lust of the eye, and pride of life.
All of which I denied but the overwhelming questions I let blind me from the truth of His closeness and I walked away.
Although His Spirit was with me, I could not see Him. So I denied him when shifted my eyesight from God and looked at what could have happened to me. And just like Peter, I went back and did the same.
I wanted to do this thing for God. I heard his voice and I was ready to go with Him.
It is like I slipped into the pride of being self-approved for the assignment—“I am ready to go with You”
I was in peace with the faith and I was in the step with the Lord.
But when I took a step closer just like Peter took a step closer, following Jesus as He was taken as criminal to the chief priests, something within me stopped me at the courtyard where Peter.
I believe Peter had faith. I believe Peter had courage. I believe Peter had the right desire but there was one thing that stopped him. It wasn't a lack of courage or heart. It was the belief of self-approval. When Peter denied Christ, that wasn't the issue. It was what drove Peter to deny Jesus the real issue. When you are not aligned to the voice of God fear comes, doubts come, anxiety comes, depression comes. The voice of God is not just words. They are truths that you can place your hope and faith in. There are truths of warm peace. Peter self-qualified himself at this hour. When they asked him about his relationship with Christ and he saw that threats were against him if he knew them, he fled denying Christ. Peter could have not done it by himself. When you approve you place yourself as worthy. The truth is that alone we weigh no worth. Jesus on the other hand gives grace and worth. So that is that when you obey his voice there is power because it means that you will be walking by his purpose. You don't self-qualified yourself. Jesus qualifies you through your obedience.