“Prisoner of hope.”

I have been struggling these past few days.
It has been really hard for me to capture what hope is lately and why we grab it to live life. Why hope is like a catalyst to move forward.
I don't remember struggling with hope but I guess hope just like anything in life can come and test its maturity.
Like last month was humility,
The month before was trust,
And so on…
Marriage has been on my mind.
I have been thinking a lot about my past relationship.
I was so young and what we had besides the struggles
It was beautiful.
What I don't understand is how can a thing so beautiful have an end?
(What I hear God say is "all things have an end" "the grass withers, the flowers fade, but the only thing that remains and stands forever is God"
Flowers 🌸 come and go. Wow.
There is a time for everything.
All that I m left with is the residue of memories.
Bittersweet memories.
Yes along the way hurt and pain has cleared up but
What do I do with something that "was" and now is not?
This cant be all right? There has to be something else that follows.
Sadly, in one moment one thing can be fireworks alive, and in a single night split of a second... all is gone.
How can I make the sparkles light up and last through the night?
How can I make something worthwhile in the aftermath?
A song that comes to mind,
“I don’t have anything to offer, but all I got is a broken heart”
Lord, give me purpose!
Though the past is gone and all things have a season,
Use past seasons to fertilize the current time.
Use this dust and broken pieces for your purpose.
Birth something new.
Forgive me but I will not be satisfied.
I can not and will not settle down until you overfill me,
until you over satisfy me.
Forgive me, but your word says that you restore, that you redeem, that you forgive, that you create, and you give double for the trouble and double for my joy forever.
Isn’t that the hope you guarantee?
Hope not in vain, hope on things that aren't alive?
Until how long?
I hear you say, “Put your trust not on earthy things but put your trust in the strong rock, giver, and creator of all things. He who holds in his hand all things and out of nothing He creates.
They say “weeping may endure for the night, but surely joy comes in the morning!