I have been trying to escape the mind of conformity in trying to reach a level of fruitfulness. Only to find myself feeling like gravity only pulls me three steps backward. Every loss has my motivation to seek success, but it seems like it has grown an ambition of perverse greediness and lust for wanting more.
I have questioned myself before, why would the Israelites even dare to worship idols they made up? The Israelites saw all that God did for them to deliver them from Egypt. A place where they were slaved captive and unable to practice their freedom as chosen people of God. Not only did God liberated the Israelites but, He made sure to finish with her enemies and take them to a Promise Land. God did that by sending plagues, fire, and death to the Egyptians. In addition, God made sure to provide for their needs through the desert. Yet, I couldn't seem to reason their behavior of idolatry until I remembered that I had been doing this too. I have been rescued from captivity and as well, going through a desert. I have seen God's hand since in the rescue. I have seen Him parted red seas for me but, somehow the long walks in the desert and the waiting for the promised land has felt too far for me to grasp. Walking around a desert and getting nowhere has only made me worry about what God had said. I grew anxious about whether I heard Him wrong or if all that I experience was an illusion of mine? All of this in my head, desert after desert, has led me to worship the greed for something else, idolatry. I have been missing out on the blessing of living day after day on the DESERT! God gave me life, the way, and the truth.
My only question now, how many people are also idolatrous of this greed and lust for this "promised land"? You have gone around the desert and more desert, grown tired and hopeless because what you prayed hasn't come. You have seen so much emptiness, unfruitfulness, you set a tent in the desert and settled to worship lust and thoughts of perverse greed. You become too afraid to keep walking and keep trusting and instead made yourself an imposter of the Promise Land! You could not wait for the woman or man God had for you to marry because you were afraid that maybe God would have forgotten you. You could not wait to stay at that job because you thought God would never give you your business. You were hurt over and over and could not forgive because you did not trust that God could not make all things better as He promised. Here you are now, going through a divorce, have an unstable relationship with your wife or husband, going bankrupt, losing your home and belonging, living in trauma, diagnosed with depression, and all for the lack of trust. All this time in the desert, through it seems lonely and empty of fruitfulness, what more of a perfect landscape for miracles and blessings. A desert is a blank canvas for God history in our lives.